Many a year ago, back during the ancient ages of prehistory, something was invented that would change the course of history forever. This invention gave instant communication across the globe, transport of data across unimaginable stretches and allowed any 5th grader with half a brain access to every single movie, CD track and game on the planet. This invention was called the internet.
The rise of the internet came with a dark and sinister counterpart: the fall of language. Yes, English would never recover from the mighty blows it received from the rapidly growing internet, its former glory now reduced to ones and zeros.
Alas, no longer does English abide by any rule. All previous developments were chucked out the door like toxic waste of an engorged purple banana.
Gone are the days of full stops, capital letters and correctly placed apostrophes. No longer do humans write with pride, dignity or any common sense. English is dead!
Spelling does not matter any more. Grammar has no place in this day and age.
Wat? u may ask? Wat was so gr8 about speelling and grammer anyways? Wat do u mean we r lost if we cant spell lk human beans?
Human beans??? Does it hurt to type out the actual word “being”? I kid you not, this is seen often on those darned social network sites. Myspace it was: a place teeming with illiteracies worthy of the greatest human beans.
Even more absurd is the incredible amount of acronyms popping up like there’s not tomorrow.
Lol?
Lol?!?
Who in reality actually says “Laugh out loud”? It doesn’t even make sense anyway!
Joe: Look! A flying pig!
Sue: Laugh out loud
As frightening as lol is, there seems to be no end in these utterly random expressions. ROFL, LMAO, G2G, STFU, IDK are all indicators of how far we have slid in our civilisation.
There is worst to come it seems as internet slang enters what we human beans call the “real world”. Too many times has this one heard people actually use LOL in their everyday conversation. There is little hope for English. Shoot us now.
I come here today with a plea for sanity. English is dying! We must not let this rich language disappear without a fight!
Use those capital letters. Spell those words correctly. Make use of grammar. Delete LOL from your memory.
Save English!
k?
lol
You couldn’t resist right?
no really
the thing that pisses me off is the whole your/you’re thing. IT’S NOT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND PEOPLE!!! USE THE RIGHT ONE!!
also, I can understand why someone would type in u instead of you to save time… BUT! WHY in the name of god would you type in mi instead of my?! IT LOOKS DUMB! and it doesn’t save any time.
i look at it and think about pronouncing it as in “we are the knights who say mi mi mi”
DAARGH
So da myshtiriush brudda comsh alongsh agan. I dink we shpek engeesh juzt fin. Only dum pepul who hash a brain disabiliaty cant shpell. I am smarrt. I am not menntelly retartted.
I dont shee why itsh rong shpelling who-man bean. whash so rong abowt dat? How dare da awfar rite like dis. Itsh not wite.
So in conclusshhoin i dink zat de intreenet ish not making ush shpell baadishly and. we! have, perfuct; gwammer’ dispit [ wat” aneeone? says’;
marn
Thank you all for your interest and support!
HAHA, I love to use STFU…
P.S. You are in my RSS reader =]
Thanks Kit!
whao….
You reply your visitors so quick!
All part of the service!
Shockingly accurate! This scenario scares me as well. Long live the English language (and the French)!
ROFLMAO
Continuing on the use of the word “LOL”, I also think it’s rather annoying when people write “LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL… etc.”
Uhh… Laugh out loud out loud out loud out loud etc….???”
I laugh at myself. (HAHAHA.) I’ve written LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL so many times on msn. LOL
O M G. You know, now i actually write “LOL” without even thinking! You just say it when there’s nothing else to say… such as…
Me: Wasn’t it so funny today in English when the teacher put an apostrophe in the wrong place?
Someone: Yeah.
…..
…..
Someone: Lol.
…
Me: Lol.
Also, it really annoys me when people spell girls like “gurlz”… its the same amount of letters for gods sake! Do they think they’re trying to be cool? WELL THEY’RE NOT! Also, ma or mi instead of my. LOL
Anyway. Time to reveal my true identity.
*phantom of the opera music plays* DUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN… DUN DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*He takes of his mask*
You: OMG! It’s a woman!!!!!
(DUN DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN!!)
You: ….. CHLOE!?!?!?!?!?
(DUN DUN DUN DUN DUUUNNNNNNNNNNN!!!)
*Chloe takes of her cloak revealing her school uniform and then runs to a table and presses stop on the CD player*
(DUN DUN DUN DUN DU – *STOPS!*)
Chloe: Yes, that’s right. I have a secret identity.
You: WHAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT?!?!?!?
Chloe: Yeah. Chloe by day and phantom by night. Do you know i came in your window last night and watched you sleeping MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (Don’t worry, I didn’t really… or maybe that’s just what i want you to think… MUAHAHAHA!)
You: ARGH! *shoots himself*
Chloe: Hello? Are you there?
You: *cannot reply because he is dead*
Chloe: I was only joking… i’m not really the phantom…
You: *cannot reply because he is dead*
Chloe: Hello? Hello?!?? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*dramatic music plays as i drop to the floor and cry*
Chloe: WHY? WHY!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Oh happy dagger!
*takes out a knife and stabs herself*
Chloe: This is thy sheath! There rust and let me die!
*dies*
…
…
Then Chloe suddenly wakes up from a very bad dream…
Chloe: Wow I remember i had a bad dream but i can’t remember what it was… but i have an urge not to use the word LOL anymore…
____________________________________________________
Yeah anyway. I was bored. Have you noticed that our MSN conversations always end with you shooting yourself? I decided to add that in. (I would say lol right now, but since you’re morally opposed to the word, i’ll just say hahaha.) Hahaha.
… uh… bye!
Your blog is so amusing.
English, like many other languages, are evolving. I like good old English when it is used in an elegant manner.
(BTW, is ‘blog’ English?)
You are so right! English is doomed!! I can’t stand people using
internet slang in crazy internet world let alone in the real world!!
You better keep this blog up!
It’s excellent!!
Thanks guys.
This blog will continue to live as long as there is interest in it!
Long live this blog!
haha random tag
Yes, I must agree with you, James, that internet slang is rather annoying. One finds that one must know the meanings of the acronyms before one can decipher the message hidden in terms such as “btw” and indeed, the frequently used “lol”.
I myself had to read the slang-word “STFU” slowly and more than once before finally lifting my eyebrows and going: “Oh!”.
I must add that even though we must keep the English language alive, we must also rekindle the Shakespearean language flame and once again make it popular.
Observe:
ME
“James, my liege, mine duty is to warn thou of thy chamberlain’s plot!”
JAMES
“Mine chamberlain? Does thou speakst words of sooth? Mine trustworthy chamberlain from whence I sleep?”
ME
“Ay”
JAMES
“I thank you. Thou hast shown me great loyalty in forewarning me”
[Exeunt James and Me
Now, you must not hesitate to praise my views on the Shakespearean language. You know you like it too.
Anyway, well done, and I hope to see more of your delightful blogs!
(Notice my spelling and grammar! It’s impeccable… I think.)
[Enter Aero]
AERO
“Alas! Thouself has fallen prey to mine trustworthy chamberlain heinous treachery! Hast not the Earth have mercy? Thouself cries at the fires of unseen hearts”
[Enter Chamberlain]
CHAMBERLAIN
“There thou hidest! With aid of this cruel blade, I shall be king!”
AERO
“Oh thou art shadow faced!”
[They fight]
[Enter Amanda]
[Amanda fights and slays Chamberlain]
AMANDA
“My liege I have won”
AERO
“Much celebration shalst be held. Receive commendation of highest merit thou shall.”
[Exeunt Aero and Amanda]
That’s an excellent blog! I can’t stand the word lol being used on the internet or in everyday speech. It really pisses me off! Why don’t they just laugh instead of saying LOL. My irritating younger sister now frequently uses lol and is currently trying to sabotage this comment!
i like i like i like
LOL
im sorry, i coudlnt resist it.
=)
much love, keep up the good work.
Jessica xo (and sophie and michael)
oh man james, you truly are my hero.
kudos for your excellent publication of an important modern debate.
see now i’m just trying to sound all important, but it comes so naturally to you!
ahhh, man. *sighs*
WELL DONE!
you’re so right.
keep up the good work my fellow asian.
we’re proud of you
micaela xo
LOL!
Sorry, couldn’t help myself. I completely and utterly agree with you, James. To me, however, “LOL” is just a word you use on MSN when you have nothing else to say. So after a conversation..
Me: So…
Fellow MSN user: lol…
Me: lol
A few minutes later:
Other person: so… lol
Me: lol… Soooooo….
Other person: lol funny…
Me: lol yeah… Ok I have to go now. Bye!
I try to avoid using “LOL” now. If I think it’s funny but I’m not laughing, I write “haha…”. If I’m laughing, then it’s usually AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
I also agree with Amanda. The disappearing language of Shakespeare is a great loss to humanity. We must indeed rekindle its flame!
n we got2 stop ritin in slang its so stoopid i h8 it! omg 1/2 da tym i dun evn no wat dere talkin abt. spk eng ppl!
neway gr8 wrk jms! lol wats d abvn 4 “james”?…
Okay, enough of that. Great blog James! (haha jms..) Now I’m going to read all of your other blogs. So you’re proabaly going to get lots of comments from me now.
Let’s all go spread the word – stop using slang words and save the eng lang!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!